This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
