It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
