As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
