Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
