I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
