fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
PANTIES FOUND
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
