There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
