Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
