I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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