Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
