Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
no, he came in my armpit
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
