we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
