508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
