His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
