Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize