Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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