I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
