the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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