If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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