I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
