Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
