So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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