once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Mom said you looked used
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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