Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
