Ambien. No doubt about it.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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