i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
