During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
