Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
