I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
