Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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