70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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