Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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