I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
