The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
