last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
