I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it's like iHOP with fire
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
