The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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