woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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