I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
