His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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