It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
