Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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