I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
