I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
