I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
