There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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