my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
