she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize