There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
