just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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