After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
