Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
