I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
