We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
