And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
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If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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