my vag is so smooth its legendary
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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