drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
