Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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