yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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