we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
