Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
